One of our most basic human needs is to form connections with others. We naturally desire to receive love, acceptance, and a sense of belonging. And when our relationships feel out of balance, so do we. It can also be hard to strike the right balance between caring for and helping others without losing yourself. While the signs of poor boundaries are not always easily noticed, some common indicators may include:
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Having trouble saying “no.”
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Taking on too many tasks leaving you feeling overwhelmed and fatigued.
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Never feeling like all your efforts are enough or even noticed by others.
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Feeling like you are putting more effort into your relationships with little reciprocation from others.
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Difficulty identifying your needs, expressing your feelings, or asking for help.
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Feeling like you are always letting everyone down.
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Frequently feeling angry or frustrated much of the time.
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Feeling like you never have enough time, especially for yourself.
If you feel that you relate to any of these signs, you are not alone. Many of us are navigating relationships in the ways that served us in the past and maintain connection with others. We also formulate our boundaries based on what we were taught by our caregivers. Unfortunately, those lessons do not always honor our needs and often encourage us to disconnect from ourselves.
If you desire healthier relationships with others and yourself, consider redefining your boundaries. The word “boundaries” has become a buzzword nowadays and its meaning is often misunderstood. Many believe that setting boundaries means putting walls up, making everything about me, or manipulating others. All of those are false. The truth is that boundaries can often enhance the quality of our relationships, thus helping us feel closer and more connected to our loved ones. The most effective boundaries for you can even enhance your ability to live a life authentic to who you are and what values you hold.
Making these changes can feel daunting and even scary but you do not have to do it on your own. In working with one of Clarity’s skilled therapists, you will learn new ways of communicating, discover how to let go of the need to control others, understand how to stop past hurts from dictating your present and manage the push-back that inevitably comes with setting new boundaries. We are happy to guide and support you in your pursuit to achieve a balance that allows you to show the care and compassion you have for others while allowing you to live a life that actively values you.